What’s up you sexy residents of the Beer League Heroes Universe? I’ve just been vibing around on my Kosmic quest for another Oilers dynasty run, and everything psychedelic. What a trip! Can you believe that it’s November 23rd and the Edmonton Oilers aren’t just “still in a playoff position”, they are leading the (once mighty) Pacific Division. I’m serious, this isn’t another bad trip is it? Oh no dude, did I take the infamous “Brown Woodstock Acid”?
“Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?” – Freddie Mercury
No bro, this is the real freakin’ deal…
Let’s face it, the LA Kings aren’t the powerhouse that they once were, and both the Sharks and Ducks are not playing up to their potential. The Flames, well, they’re playing like everyone thought that they would, and Vancouver clearly needs to dump the Sedin’s and go into full out rebuild mode. The Canucks first order of business should be to fire GM Jim Benning, before he makes any other silly signings for this aging team (IE: Loui Eriksson). Then there’s the Coyotes, who were thought to rise up from the desert with their young and talented roster. Which isn’t quite the case as of yet, but they’re young and learning the game still. And lastly, we have our beloved Edmonton Oilers, who are on the rise…finally. Could they have picked a better time to do it? The “California Three” aren’t the juggernauts that they were in the past, Vancouver needs to go into rebuild mode ASAP, and the Coyotes and Flames are finding their game still. The Time is now…
How sick are Thornton and Burns’ beards though? Hella fresh! But not badass enough for a Stanley Cup ring. Yes, San Jose did make it to the Stanley Cup Final last year, but I think that extended run may have tired out some of their older soldiers. Not to mention that Thornton himself also played in the World Cup this past summer. That’s a lot of hockey miles in one year for a 37-year-old soon to be 20 year NHL veteran. Now I’m not suggesting that Jumbo Joe is slowing down, but Marleau on the other hand…yeah guy.
I am NOT trippin’ on some bad stuff when I say this! But LA’s days are numbered as a Cup favourite. Experts have been predicting the LA downward spiral for a few years now, and they definitely have some cap crippling contracts holding them back from adding any firepower (IE: Dustin Brown). Maybe the newly named Vegas Golden Knights (ugh, don’t even get me started) will help them out by taking a big contract off of their hands in the upcoming expansion draft. But until they can fix their cap issues LA won’t be a cup contender, maybe not even a playoff team.
Then I’m not really sure what Anaheim’s issue is, just a whole lot of underachieving if you ask me (or a batch of bad Brown Woodstock Acid). I mean, they still have a competitive roster. Just a down year I guess, it happens. I still think that they’re going to finish strong this year, and will be the major competition for first place in the Pacific.
Then as I mentioned earlier, both the Flames and Coyotes are still trying to find their identities. Both rosters boast a lot of up and coming young talent, mixed in with some solid veterans. It’s only a matter of time before both teams figure their game out.
“Time is of the essence.” – Unknown
But seriously, the Oilers couldn’t have picked a better time to show some improvement in their game (thank you McWizard). No, it’s not just all McDavid, just look at the play of Cam Talbot, the surprise goal production from Tyler Pitlick, and the steady presence of rookie defenseman Matt Benning. Not too mention the offense from young vet’s like Maroon and Eberle, and the muscle from Lucic. When you also factor in the strong play of defensemen Adam Larsson, Oscar Klefbom and Darnell Nurse, it’s easy to see why this entire team seems to have turned the proverbial corner. Are they a Western juggernaut? Not quite yet, but it’s coming. That much is easy to see. Of course, Captain Connor is leading the charge, and the NHL scoring race at the moment. But the rest of the team has also stepped up to meet the challenge. They say the best players bring out the best in their teammates, maybe this is the case with McDavid. But I think that it’s also a matter of having the same coach and systems in place for more than one season, unlike in the past. Also, it could be a matter of a whole slew of players finding their game at the same team and playing like a team. Which hasn’t really happened with past squads.
Whatever it is, it’s November and the Oilers are leading the Pacific Division. I’m just going to kick back, watch some stellar hockey, and enjoy the ride.
Stay trippy my friends!
As always, you can with me or follow me on Twitter @kosmicburrito
Our tribute to the Team Canada of ’87! Click the pic to get yours!
Awwww yeeeeaaaah! What’s up! It’s your Psychedelic Pspaceman, the Electric Cowboy, a.k.a. Kosmic Burrito back with a hot fire mixtape fo’ that azzzzz….
What? No? My bad, wrong trip….ugh this is so awkward now. I better go take off my M.C Hammer pants.
Hey BLH’ers, it’s been a few minutes since we chilled, and I’m excited to be back here in the Beer League Heroes Universe! What I’ve got cooking in the Kosmic Kitchen today is a healthy mixture of random thoughts and different trips that I’ve been on. Bon appetit!
Man, has this guy been magical or what? Ok Ok, minus that Buffalo game and Talbot has been money so far. After a slow and rough start last year, he has erased any doubts in my mind of that becoming a reoccurring trend this season. First off, though, congrats to the brand new Daddy! Twins as well! Wow, that makes his start to the season that much more impressive to me. I’m a father myself, I have three sons aged nine, eight, and five. But I could not imagine having to handle two newborns at once, AND being an NHL netminder. So that is why my hat is tipped to you, Papa Cam. Twins, and a great run so far.
As of today, his stat-line looks like this: He has a GAA of 2.31 which is tied for 20th in the league, and he sports a SV% of .927 which places him 15th in the league. He’s played in 11 games and his record is 7 W’s, 3 L’s, and 1 OTL. I think it’s safe to say that he’s cementing himself as a true Number One netminder in the NHL. My only fear is that we’re going to have to give him a rest soon, and eventually have to give The Monster his turn in net. DUN DUN DUNNNN…
ICYMI, @Pitty687 already has a career high in goals this season, sniping three through the first five #Oilers games. pic.twitter.com/1nkqEOM698
To quote the incomparable Mr. Gord Downie, “It’s been a long time running. It’s well worth the wait”. I think this can apply to Tyler Pitlick, who looks like he has finally arrived. But for how long, though, right? I mean yes, he is filling a 4th line role quite admirably, but they have some dudes coming back from injury sooner or later (IE: Hendo, Pakarinen, & Caggiula). And hockey is a business, right? But Pitlick for sure has my backing. I love this guy; he hits anything moving, has blazing speed, and his tenacity for the puck is fantastic. After all the setbacks that he’s had from injury, *knocks on wood* I hope that this is finally the year that he gets to play a full season. He’s been great so far and his work ethic is incredible. I’ll even step out on a limb here, if Pitlick can play a full season and was actually bumped up to 3rd line minutes, I think that he could score 15+ goals and possibly add another 15+ helpers. Like I said, he’s been dynamite in his role so far this season. I for one hope that he sticks it out all year. I can’t help but root for the underdogs, I mean, I am an Oilers fan right? So far this season, he has posted a stat-line that looks like:
11GP 3G 1A 4P 0 +/- (he’s on track for 21 goals at this point, can he maintain that pace? Probably not)
Considering he only has seven points in his entire NHL career (all of 38 games played), this is a fantastic start to the year for him. The Oilers have benefited from a healthy Pitlick in the lineup, I’m sure we can all agree on that. I for one would rather see Pitty stay in the lineup than Hendo or PakMan. But that’s just my opinion
Taylor Hall text to Jordan Eberle: congrats on being the new whipping boy bud.
Is Ol’ Man Eberle getting a bit grumpier as time passes? Seriously, though, is it just me or has this guy’s “board play” vastly improved this season? I’ve made a point to literally try and watch every game this season, and so far it’s been mission accomplished. Yes, I am married with kids, so I know that some dudes are probably like, “He’s lying! Every game and he has a wife and kids! How does he do it?”. Easy, my wife is mad cool and I live in Toronto, so my kids are usually in bed during most games. So back to Oscar the Eberle, from my view on the couch it looks like he’s definitely worked on his board game in the offseason. He’s playing a way more physically confident game this year than any other season that I can recall, which isn’t a whole lot since my mind has subconsciously erased many bad Oilers memories. But his attack on the forecheck has also kicked up a notch, and me likey! I don’t know if this is a result of the addition and influence of Milan Lucic, if it is something that Jordan set out to work on this offseason, or if it’s just happening with his “old age”. But I hope that Eberle keeps it up all year. Up until this point, he has a stat-line that goes a little something like this:
11GP 3G 4A 7P -5+/- (I’d definitely like to see some more goals from Eberle)
At the very start to the still-young season, I thought that Lucic was playing a strong, physically dominant game. But his play as of late has lacked that edge, most specifically I’m thinking of the Toronto game. Man, they could have used his muscle during those 60+ minutes in the 6ix. But I’ll touch on that game a bit later on. All I’m saying is, they signed Looch to lead, bang, score, and intimidate/police the ice. I hope that version comes back, and real soon! I have no worries that he won’t return. But a “physically quiet” Looch is an ineffective Looch, and that’s the version that has been hitting the ice recently. Milan’s stat-line is looking alright to start the season:
11GP 4G 3A 7P 0 +/- (he’s on pace for 30 goals at the moment, that I can’t complain about)
If MacT were still in charge, Kris Russell would have a 6 year contract ready for him at the end of the game.
— BLH (Edmonton Oilers Enthusiast} (@BeerLeagueHeroe) October 27, 2016
Is the Russell Honeymoon Over?
To say that this is a hot topic amongst the Oilers blogging community, would be an absolute understatement. Hot? More like a smoldering inferno of molten hot lava, burning within the Universe’s most active volcano. It’s the perfect scenario for the old “Analytics VS Non-Analytics” argument, FOR REAL!
Straight up though, I love analytics. I think that they add so many other dimensions to how we can track a player’s performance, flow of the game, etc… But with that being said, I am not going to pretend that I understand every advanced stat or even what goes into how these geniuses track them HaHa! That’s why I’m extremely happy that I work with the man, G-Money. Whom I personally believe is one of THE BEST in the Analytics/Advanced Stats world. I usually ask G any kind of analytical question that I have, or how a player’s advanced stats looked after a game. The man is named “Money” for a reason people.
So onto my Russell trip, the beginning of the season I thought he was looking pretty decent and playing a well-rounded, strong game. I was (unrealistically) wishful that he put some of his analytic woes behind him for good. But his play since around game five or six (somewhere around there) hasn’t been that great, it has kind of dropped off. Which has only added more fire for the analytics side of the argument. Plus, you can just clearly see that he isn’t playing that same strong game that he displayed through the first five or six. Hmmm, I think that history shows you which player we’ll see for the rest of the season. Don’t get me wrong, he’s fearless to put his body on the line and block all those shots. I also like his speed, and willingness to play the puck and move it up ice. But I think it’s a “what you see, is what you get” type of thing from here on out. But here’s to hoping that he proves me wrong for the Oilers sake. Currently, Russell has a stat-line that looks like this:
11GP 0G 3A 3P 6+/-
Did Hell Freeze Over? And No! I’m Not Talking About Another Eagles Reunion Tour!
Anton Lander scored a goal…what the what? My mind is blown…that is all.
10GP 1G 2A 3P 4+/- (Seriously, Anton Lander scored and is on pace for eight goals!)
Nazem “The Rat” Kadri and the First Installment of McDavid VS Matthews
First off, I’ll give credit where credit is due. The Toronto Maple Leafs did a decent job of shutting down Connor McDavid and they did it using a “Layered Defense” system. It wasn’t just Nazem Kadri himself. But let’s be honest, he did a great job of playing that annoying, pesky, “Esa Tikkanen” type of shadow role. He was very Esa-esque that night.
But back to the “Layered Defense”, the first layer was obviously Nazem, and then the second layer was most commonly Morgan Reilly. The third layer, and the one that the infamous Toronto Media wasn’t talking about was the great game by Frederik Andersen. All they talked about was Nazem Kadri’s defensive coming out party. Yes, the Leafs played Connor annoyingly well, but also look at that game this way, they faced an insanely hot Freddie Andersen that night. He stopped 44 out of 46 shots….PURE FIRE! So I think that was what really shut Connor and the rest of the team down.
But back to “The Rat”, why the bloody hell didn’t someone like I don’t know, ummm, Milan Lucic go and push him around, intimidate, or even face wash him and talk some smack for Pete’s sake? Dude, it was so infuriating watching his antics take place. It’s not just Looch’s fault either, ANYBODY should have stepped in and put an end to this Rat pushing around their captain. Like honestly, what the what? They better not let that kind of crap take place again.
So I think that was what really shut Connor and the rest of the team down HaHa. But back to “The Rat”, why the bloody hell didn’t someone like I don’t know, ummm, Milan Lucic go and push him around, intimidate, or even face wash him and talk some smack for Pete’s sake? Dude, it was so infuriating watching his antics take place. It’s not just Looch’s fault either, ANYBODY should have stepped in and put an end to this Rat pushing around their captain. Like honestly, what the what? They better not let that kind of crap take place again.
What it’s Like Living in the “Center of the Hockey Universe” and Not Be a Leafs Fan
Annoying HaHa…as I’m sure that you are all aware, the Toronto Sports Media is absolutely bonkers! I’m almost convinced that MLSE owns TSN, and SportsNet. HaHa! But seriously, thank goodness for the internet and live streaming, the NHL Centre Ice package, Android boxes, and alternative media. But living here also has it’s perks, I can visit the Hockey Hall of Fame whenever, and enjoy the Raptors and Blue Jays as well. Not to mention that 90% of my friends are Leafs fans, and we LOVE talking smack with each other. Before McDavid got drafted, it was next to impossible for me to find some Oilers gear to buy around here. I had to do my shopping online.
Well ladies and gentlemen, thanks for tripping with me again! Until next time, stay trippy my friends!
As always, you can chat and follow me Twitter @kosmicburrito
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This is quite possibly the biggest and most important decision that the Edmonton Oilers will have to make before the season starts.
The choice between Griffin Reinhart and Brandon Davidson. Now I could very well have thrown Darnell Nurse’s name in the mix also (who doesn’t like a good three-way?). But I have a feeling that the Oilers are already so high on him that he sticks with the team. Unless of course, he has an absolutely dismal training camp. Which I just don’t see happening, not with him being a year older, more experienced, bigger, meaner and nastier. Now I’m not saying that Davidson or Reinhart won’t be coming in more experienced or better, themselves. Not at all, it’s just that, I believe that Nasty Nurse is already invited to the party just based on his high-profile prospect status, and his draft pedigree. Plus, Chiarelli loves him some mean and nasty. I also believe that Chiarelli will be giving Reinhart every opportunity possible to right the “trade”! But Nurse, in my opinion, is all but guaranteed a roster spot.
Which brings us onto these two, Griffin Reinhart and Brendan Davidson. Now if it was up to the fan base to call the shots, it would be a no-brainer. Davidson in, Reinhart out. Brendan Davidson won over the fans hearts with his hard work in his surprising, out of nowhere, breakout season. Plus, who doesn’t love a good ol’ underdog/comeback story? Rudy, Rudy, Rudy!!! Griffin Reinhart, on the other hand, has been unfairly chastised since the day Peter Chiarelli traded for him. So if all of the armchair GM’s had it their way, Reinhart would be soaking up the California sun in Bakersfield. Or even playing for a different organization if some people were in charge lol! But that’s the thing, we’re not the ones making these tough decisions.
I was speaking with Walter Foddis over at the BLH office water cooler (@waltlaw69 is one of our fantastic, analytics-driven writers here at BLH), and he had this to say, “…Davidson was our best defensemen on some metrics…”. I don’t know about you, but I find that pretty interesting, and it also speaks volumes about the type of player that the Oilers have in Davidson. Reinhart himself is also a very interesting prospect. Whom Peter Chiarelli was hoping to be more game ready when he gave up a king’s ransom to acquire him.
So I decided to take a look at each player individually and then compare the two. Now Davidson obviously spent a lot more time in the big show than Reinhart, so we’ll use what available information that we have for both.
One thing I should note, and this also something that I find particularly interesting. Griffin Reinhart was drafted in the 1st round of the 2012 draft, 4th overall to be exact. Brandon Davidson, well he was drafted in the 6th round of the 2010 draft, and 162nd overall. Sheesh…not much of a difference there, huh? Only a matter of 158 draft spots, you know, no biggie.
Alright, let’s start with Griffin Reinhart…
Griffin Reinhart
Griffin Reinhart was acquired via trade by the Edmonton Oilers on the 2015 draft floor. Peter Chiarelli traded the 16th and 33rd picks in the 2015 draft to the New York Islanders to acquire Reinhart. The trade has been criticized, scrutinized, and chastised since the moment it took place. For example, that 16th overall pick turned into Matthew Barzal, a fantastic young, up and coming player. Who a lot of Oilers fans would’ve much rather seen in the system, instead of Griffin.
Now myself, I think that it’s more than fair to examine the trade, pick it apart, etc… But what I don’t think is fair, is the constant bashing of Reinhart himself. It’s not as if he orchestrated the trade all on his own, and it was Chiarelli who made it worse for him by saying that he expected Reinhart to step right in and be in the starting lineup.
I believe that there is a great 2nd or 3rd pairing defender here, just waiting to break out. Remember there’re no two prospects who develop the same, everyone is different. Also, we all know that defenders seem to take a tad bit longer to hit their stride, so patience people, he’ll get there. In fact, I’m predicting that barring any injuries, Reinhart will take a major step forward this year, book that sh*t!
Alright, let’s take at the player himself, and see why he deserves to be in the starting lineup come October. Now Griffin isn’t a flashy player, never has been, and honestly I don’t think that he ever will be. But what he is, is a steady stay at home presence who can make a fairly decent first-pass. He’s never been a big point producer, in fact, his best offensive output came in his 2nd full season in the WHL playing for the Edmonton Oil Kings. In that season, he played 58 games and scored 12 goals and ended up with 36 points. Not too shabby at all. But he hasn’t been able to translate that success into his NHL game yet, nor has he been dominant at the AHL level. I’m not saying he’s a pylon, not at all. He just hasn’t found what works for him in the NHL. But like I said earlier, there’s definitely a player there.
Last year for Bakersfield he put up 10 points in 30 games, which is good for .333ppg. Also, he was a solid +2 in those games. That’s not bad for a defenseman who wasn’t really brought on to be a big producer. Reinhart’s bread and butter is his defense, let’s not forget.
So how did he do though playing for the actual Oilers? Well, it definitely wasn’t as well as his showing on the farm, he did play 29 games and put up a single assist. He also had 20 penalty minutes to go along with a -6 rating. Ok, so the offense definitely wasn’t there but he did grind out 62 hits and blocked 46 shots. That to me is a sign of who Griffin Reinhart is, and will become. He averaged over 2 hits per game, and well over a block per game. Also, once he gets more confident in his game, we’re going to see that nice first-pass of his start to show up.
But he’s steadily becoming a solid, stay at home force on the backend. As he grows his game, and uses that big body of his more, he’s going to become the defenseman that forwards hate to see between them and the net. If we could see more hits, more blocked shots, a steady first-pass, and some work on his foot speed. Then I think people might actually cool down on the trade, and appreciate the player we received.
His Corsi For % was 46.9(CF) last year, and his Offensive Zone Starts % was 52.7(oZS). So yes, there’s definitely room for improvement there. He definitely needs to improve his possession numbers, and I believe that you’ll see that this year, as his confidence grows.
Another good thing going for Reinhart, is that he does have experience playing the right side of the “D”, which is still a giant, epic glaring hole for the Oilers. So all in all, what is it the Oilers need? To stop bleeding goals, right? So how about a giant defenseman that blocks shots, hits bodies, and is working on a decent first-pass. Not only that, he’s only going to hopefully get better from here. I mean, we all know about the famous hockey bloodlines of the Reinhart family by now, right?
My final take is that we have a solid, stay at home defenseman who isn’t afraid to lay his body on the line. He also hasn’t lived up to his potential yet, so I believe the best is yet to come. Something also tells me that Reinhart may have a bit of a “chip on his shoulder” this year. So I have a feeling that we’re going to see a much feistier, and hungry version of Reinhart this year, considering all of the competition in the “leftorium” (thanks LT!).
Brandon Davidson
Brandon Davidson…Brando…Marlon Brando? The Godfather? Brandon Davidson is The Godfather? My mind is blown! But seriously, what is not to like about possibly the biggest surprise of the ‘15/16 season? Out of nowhere, Davidson came in and was a complete ray of hope for the Oilers. Fans really attached themselves to Davidson’s underdog story and heart & soul style of play.
For an Oilers team that has, for the most part, struck out after the first round of the draft. To have a player of Brandon’s calibre emerge from the sixth round is a Godsend to a defensively starved organization.
So who is Brandon Davidson, and what kind of damage did he do last season. Well for starters, he played 51 games and averaged 19:12 minutes per game. To go along with that, he scored 4 goals and finished with 11 points. That’s some decent production ladies and gentlemen and to top it all off, he finished with a +7 rating on the Oilers defense. Then you throw in the fact that he had a 52.1CF% (wow!) with only a 49.3oZS%, yes people, there is a really awesome player here. Don’t forget he had 74 hits and 92 blocked shots in those 51 games.
So what we see here, is a very solid two-way defenseman that also possesses a nice first pass, who is very competent and trustworthy. Brandon is also 25 years old, so he’ll be just coming into his prime. Davidson demonstrates a high hockey IQ as well and rarely seems to be caught out of position.
One thing that I’d like to see more of from him, is his shot from the point. There were times last year when Davidson let a howitzer fly, and if he could take that and focus on the power-play. Then the Oilers PP Quarterback issues may be answered.
Personally, I see a lot of positives with Davidson, and boatloads of potential. I mean, to have a 52.1CF% on the Oilers D….well, that’s facking magical! Let’s see, strong possession metrics, solid offense, he’s not afraid to put his body on the line, and great two-way play.
“The Choice”
Well, it honestly seems like a complete no-brainer to me, but obviously, Brandon Davidson deserves the spot in the lineup over Reinhart. What he showed last year, was an absolutely beautiful breakout campaign. The best part about it is the fact that it came out of nowhere, and was totally unexpected. Whereas Reinhart came over with a ton of expectations, and well, he didn’t quite deliver as hoped. But as I mentioned earlier, there’s a fantastic, solid player within Griffin that is waiting to break out. I already said to “book it”, that he takes a major step forward this year. I personally believe it is going to happen, as long as he keeps blocking shots, works on his first pass, and works on being more physical.
Then we have a solid defenseman finding his way probably sooner than later. Davidson on the other hand, he’s a bonafide NHL defender in the NOW! And a damn good one! Which is why I choose him. Plus, Walter was right when he said that Davidson was our best defenseman in some metrics (holy understatement Walt!), check this shit out:
Well folks, that wraps up this post. Are y’all getting pumped for the World Cup or what? I know I’m super stoked to watch McDavid dangle through Team Canada, and light the lamp!
Stay tuned, and stay weird!!!!
You can follow me, chat with me, and trip with me on Twitter @kosmicburrito
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Whoa! What’s the word my BLH family? Holy fack it’s been a hot minute since we last chilled bruh… I’ve just been cruising through the universe on my psychedelic quest to spread love, fun, and dreams of another Oilers dynasty! And during my time off, I spent a lot of it wondering how the Oilers can get better…and a lot was also spent with various psychedelic ingredients to enhance the journey 😉
Where to start this….hmm, Ok! So about a month before Taylor Hall was traded, I was reading some articles written by the genius that we all know as Lowetide. And it facking hit me! No, not Lowetide’s intelligently written article. It was the mushrooms I ate, silly. Bammmm….I was no longer sitting in the comfort of Castle Grey Skull a.k.a my house. No ma’am…I, Kosmic Burrito, was in an Ice Desert. Yeah, I said it, a motherfacking Ice Desert…and I was skating through it, and gliding along a spiritual quest to better the Oilers.
As I skated across the vast icy desert, various creatures came and spoke to me. First, I met a Shark, and she said, “Kosmic, they need “the D”…they’ll never win without “the D!”. And then the Shark vanished! I know what you’re thinking, a shark in an ice desert talking about dicks?!? I know, right? Facking sweet dude! But she was right, we’ll never win without defence…
I continued my spiritual journey across the desert, still thinking about the Shark and how she said that we need “The D” (lolol). When I came across a Duck, and he said “Kosmic, they’re too top heavy. They need to balance out their bottom! It needs to produce.” I was wondering why he told me that my bum needed to produce, and I realized he meant the bottom 6. Yes!! They need a guy who can grind, play defense, and chip in some damn offense! Wow, what a smart freaking Duck!! Can you imagine if we had 1 or 2 bottom six’ers that could play “the D” and pop in 10 or so goals? Like a 3rd line center that fits this description, so we can bump The Nuge or Dr. Drai up a line. I never did see where that Duck went off to?
The last critter I encountered was a Coyote. I felt bad for this Coyote, he told me that he wasn’t sure if he was going to have a home in the desert for much longer. Something about not having enough friends or something?! But we’ll save that tale for another time. The Coyote told me,”Mr.Burrito, they are too small and wimpy. Listen to women, size matters!” After I realized that the Coyote wasn’t making a peen joke, it hit me!! The Oilers are too damn small, wimpy, and not intimidating whatsoever. The Coyote then spewed out a snapchat rainbow, and rode it into the Ice Sun. “Bye Coyote! I hope that you get your home situation sorted out!”
As I skated along the ice thinking about what the creatures told me. I couldn’t help but think about how right they were. Not too mention how enlightening and gnarly this trip was…
And then I saw him….Chief Blackhawk….as he approached me while riding his buffalo shaped zamboni thingy. I couldn’t help but think to myself,
“Holy shit, these shrooms are amazing!!!! Whooooaaaa dude!!”
When I finally stopped giggling, the Chief got down from his zam-buffalo.
“Kosmic, what up G. What I’m going to say may shizz-ock you. But to get the party started yo, you need to trade Taylor Hall bruh. He will get the coveted RHD. Stay strong homey, and keep it real.” He then gave me a couple toots from his peace pipe, a fist bump, and vanished in a cloud of orange and blue smoke.
I then awoke from my trip, safe and sound in Castle Grey Skull. Wow, the Shark, Duck, Coyote, and Chief Blackhawk were right. We need some D, a bottom six that can chip in offense and cover their own zone, and some size and grit.
I pondered on this for awhile, thinking of different scenarios, possible acquisitions, and yes, trading Taylor Hall. Who could we get? Will we get P.K. for Hall?! Oh yes, my mind was swirling and salivating at the thought.
And then, BAM!! He did it. Chiarelli pulled the facking trigger….
He traded Taylor “top 10 scorer” Hall for Adam “not a #1 RHD” Larsson. Holy Guacamole….did the Twitter-verse ever explode. It was a mix of reactions, people were shocked, delighted, and of course…furious. How could he do this? This isn’t P.K.! Who also happened to be involved in a weird ass blockbuster of his own. What a trip though, am I right? Chiarelli traded Tyler and now Taylor.
I won’t lie, I was pissed. But our leader here, Mr. Beer League himself, set me straight. I’m sure that you all read his wonderful article telling us to chill the fack out. But I was still a little cheesed, Taylor freakin’ Hall man.
So now what? Eat more shrooms!! That’s what! And back to the Ice Desert I went, in search of Chief Blackhawk. As I skated in search of my feather headed friend, he appeared out of the familiar blue and orange smoke, peace pipe in hand and zam-buffalo at his side.
“Kosmic, my dude” he said, “I thought I told you that Hall needed to go yo, why do you doubt me sucka?”
“Because Chief, we didn’t get an Ekman-Larsson, only a Larsson.”
Then the Chief’s face turned into a purple Ewok, but that was just me trippin’ balls.
The Cheif said, “Kosmic, Larsson hasn’t even hit his prime fool,he has all the tools. He’s there to stop goals, not score them. Isn’t that what they’re missing homie?”
And then it hit me, not the shrooms this time. They just acquired a young RHD who hasn’t hit his prime and is projected to be a #2. We don’t even have a #2 (Klefbom?)…until now. He’s not here to score goals, he’s here to stop them.
Then the shrooms wore off, and I realized that I wasn’t at Castle Grey Skull anymore. No, I was naked in a park with an empty bag of pork rinds, and a monkey. Whoa dude, party much? Meh, I’ve snapped out of it in worse situations. But I’ll save those tales for another day.
So friends, during my psychedelic journey, I came to the realization that in order to “get”, you need to “give”. Hall gave us 6 years of absolute excitement. When he has the puck on his stick, you never know what will happen. He’s fackin’ electric, no doubt about it. But what happened in the 6 years he was here? Now I’m definitely not saying that Hall is the epicenter of all things awful for the Oilers. He’s not the only reason that they have shit the bed for the last 10 years. But, it’s time for a culture change. And Chia-Pete established that with 2 moves: trading Hall, and signing Looch.
So Shark, does Larsson give the Oilers “the D” they need? And is the Coyote satisfied with the size, grit, and intimidation that they’ll get from Looch? Then there’s the Duck…will Chiarelli shore up our bottom 6? That’s still out there, we’ll wait and see.
Think about it though, Klefbom, Davidson, and Nurse will all be 1 year older and more mature. Add in Larsson, and Sekera, and it does project to be better. I won’t lie though, I’m still holding onto hope that we acquire a power play specialist, puck moving defenceman to round it out. *cough cough Barrie* Also, a solid 3rd line center who can chip in some offense, would be excellent.
Well folks, what’s next? What do you think they should do? Is Chiarelli done, or is he waiting in the grass patiently, ready to pounce on a puck moving RHD? Either way, whatever you do or wherever you are, STAY TRIPPY MY FRIENDS!!!
As always, I welcome and enjoy your comments, feedback, and criticism. You can link me on Twitter @kosmicburrito
Click the pic and grab a 16-bit McDavid tee for the summer!Click the pic and buy the new Pulju 16-Bit Tee!Click on the pic and grab a new 16-bit Fighting Looch tee!Dig skateboarding? Click the pic and grab this new “Thrasher Magazine” inspired tee!
Hey guys! Can you believe that it’s the end of April already? And that in exactly 2 days we will find out just where we stand in the pecking order known as the 2016 NHL Draft. Come on, as a sad fanbase let’s face it, this IS our playoffs. This upcoming weekend will determine a lot for Edmonton. For example, where we land in the draft order is going to decide, I think, whether we trade the pick or use it to draft someone. Personally, I think that if they fall outside of the Top 3 then they will end up trading the pick. Possibly packaging it up with one of their many rumoured wingers/forwards for some top-notch help on the “D”. But that’s just my take on this…
PLEASE Hockey Gods, let this be the last year that we care about which position we get in the draft! I’ll do anything!! Even sacrifice my youngest! Sorry Caleb, but you’re a ginger…it was bound to happen sooner or later! I KEED, I KEED! I JOKE! HaHa! But for real….it’s almost the Oilers time to shine! It’s Lottery Time! So buckle up mofo’s!!! Heeeeeeeeere’s Numero Uno…..
Ok so I’m going to try something new, and start off by saying the worst possible thing that I noticed, and read about this prospect….his skating. Trust me, it’s not too much of a knock either, or really even one at all. So he isn’t the fastest skater and he takes big, long, powerful strides. Scouts say that he’s very reminiscent of Mario freaking Lemieux when he skates, yeah that guy! How did he do in his career? LOL! Being compared to Super Mario in any regard is never a bad thing.
So moving along to his many lovable traits, skills, and characteristics. Patrik Laine is about as complete of a natural goal scorer as you can possibly get. Seriously, he possesses an absolute laser beam of a shot that leaves fire trails similar to everyone’s favorite time traveling Delorean. What a bomb, this is the shot that every coach craves to have for his powerplay. He has an ultra quick release wrist’er, and a behemoth of a blast when he unleashes his slapper or snapper. His ability to read the play more often than not puts him in an advantageous position to shoot the puck. He’s constantly thinking out on the ice, and loves to create plays himself. He is a big bodied winger that I think is perfectly built for the much larger Western Conference. Now I’m not saying that he’s overly physical, not at all. But he definitely knows how to use his size and reach to his advantage, and can hang with the big boys as well. He will use his massive frame to drive players off the puck, and doesn’t really shy away from mixing it up when he needs to.
His defensive game could use a little work, not much though, and come on? That’s not really why you’d be drafting Patrik Laine. You’d draft him for his uncanny ability to score! Remember, Patrik is a 2016 Liiga Champion and playoff MVP, as well as a 2016 World Junior Champion and All-Star. So he knows what it takes to win and lead a team to the promised land.
NHL Comparable(s): Alexander Ovechkin, and Mario Lemieux.
Why would this player be on the Oilers Draft List? Well, because we’d land an elite, top-notch natural goal scorer to possibly compliment McDavid for years and years to come…and…we’d also get a s**t load of options. Options you say? Why yes fine fellow, options a plenty!
First of all, if we draft Laine, we wouldn’t need to even think twice about trading an Eberle, or Yakupov for some help on the “D”. Or maybe who knows, it could influence a major trade involving Taylor Hall. As I believe that this kid is going to step straight into the league and light it up like his name was Bob Marley!
Another option is, we flip the pick itself for some immediate help. One suggestion out there, is that if the Oilers do land the 1st overall pick then we should trade it to whoever drafts 2nd overall. People are suggesting they then make a “Lindros” like trade with that team involving the 2nd overall, and then draft Laine. Now I just don’t see that happening in the cap-era, but could you imagine? We could possibly fix our defense and bottom six in the trade, and then draft Patrik Laine!!
If only, but in reality, who knows…like Kevin Garnett said “ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!”. Honestly though, as amazing as it would be to have Matthews, I think we’re more than set at “C” with McWizard, Dr. Drai, and RNH. Me personally, I’d love to have the opportunity to see McDavid and Laine become the new Gretzky and Kurri.
Well my friends, that concludes my 2016 Top Ten Oilers Draft Prospects series. Stay tuned and see what I have in-store for you next! As always, stay trippy!!
